YOUR COMICAL COUSIN, JANE

Act 2 Scene 2, cont.

 

 

Alethea-Mary, that bonnet is your sister’s. Actors don’t get to keep their props, you must know.
Mary (arguing)-I do get to keep the bonnet-I wore it, didn’t I, and Martha has plenty of bonnets.
Martha-Mary, you know it belongs to me. It’s not even very attractive, I don’t know why you want it.

Mary-I don’t think it’s very pretty either; but I’ll pull it to pieces as soon as I get home, and see if I can make it up any better.
Alethea-In that case, why don’t you just take the one that Charles sat on, the flat one?
Charles-Do you have to bring that up again? I told you, my eyes were shut for the sake of my admirers-I didn’t want them to have to huddle in the corner.
Henry-The master and commander… of excuses (slight bow).
Mary-I don’t like the color of that bonnet, it doesn’t suit my complexion.

Jane-Now Martha, selfishness must always be forgiven you know, because there is no hope of a cure. (giggle)
Martha-Fine, fine Mary, keep the bonnet. Let’s have those kippers now.
Francis (has put his navy jacket on)-Yes Mary, try for once to be cheerful and accommodating,(pause) now that you know what it’s like to be an actress. (All but Mary giggle.)
Mary (looking confused)-All right Francis, if you say so. You know I can’t say no to a man in a uniform.
Catherine-Mary, for shame! And you said Jane was scandalous!
Mary (abashed)-No no, I didn’t mean anything by that.
(All laugh as they all go to the tea table. Jane stays behind, thoughtfully putting props away. Thomas walks backstage.)

Thomas-“Run mad as often as you choose”, “Never let it be said that I ever obliged my father”, “the servant she kept to herself”. Very, very witty, Miss Jane. Satire is the height of literature, I’m sure you have recognized that now-it is by far my favorite.
Jane-Well, satire does have its place, it’s true, but I…(stops and smiles at Tom), you’re right, I do love satire.

Thomas-I shall always look back on these theatricals with exquisite pleasure!
Mr. Lefroy-Pardon me, Jane. I don’t know when I’ve enjoyed myself more. Jane, you are a treasure.
Jane-I’m so glad you had a good time.
Thomas-Uncle, I believe you will be holding a ball in a week’s time, is that true?
Mr. Lefroy-You know it’s true, Thomas. If you might remember, it was your idea.

Thomas (to Jane)-I hope it’s not too early to secure you for the first two dances of the evening.
Jane-I’d be delighted, Mr. Lefroy. (Jane and Thomas walk to the tea table together)
Jane-For my part, we will be having a small birthday celebration tomorrow at one o’clock. Your aunt will be there, and I would be pleased if you could come. (everyone says goodbye and leaves the room)
Thomas-It will be an honor. Before you go, could you play one more piece for me, perhaps an Irish melody, if you know one? The Scottish one you sang was sad.
Jane-I know Star of the County Down, and you know that’s not sad (she plays and sings, Thomas standing next to the piano forte, tapping his foot to the music).

Near Banbridge town, in the County Down

One morning in July

Down a boreen green came a sweet colleen

And she smiled as she passed me by.

She looked so sweet from her two white feet

To the sheen of her nut-brown hair

Such a coaxing elf, I'd to shake myself

To make sure I was standing there.
(Thomas joins in, in harmony)
From Bantry Bay up to Derry Quay

And from Galway to Dublin town

No maid I've seen like the sweet colleen

That I met in the County Down.

(They look at each other smiling. Mme. Lefroy comes in and stops short, looking anxiously at Jane. Thomas bows to Jane and leaves the room.)
Mme. Lefroy-Jane, have you forgotten what I told you about my nephew and his poor prospects? As you have said yourself, a large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of. Unless, of course, you have the exalted mind of your dear Laura, which, according to her husband, required neither food nor drink (they both giggle).

Jane-Don’t worry, I haven’t forgotten. (melodramatically) And Madame Malaprop, you needn’t lay any conjunctions on me, because I will be very careful about any prepositions he might make to me. But, seriously, (soberly) if I am to write about love, (pause, then slowly) I’d say it’s time I found out a little more about it (very happy). Now, if you’ll excuse me, I believe it’s finally time to (slowly) clean up my act. (She sings and dances to "County Down", while she picks up the props.)

END
Copyright Joan McGovern Tendler 2014

 

Fhear A Bhata
How often haunting the highest hilltop I scan the ocean, a sail to see

Will it come tonight, love, will it come tomorrow Will it ever come, love, to comfort me
Chorus: Fear-a-uata, no horoway-la Fear-a-uata, no horoway-la

Fear-a-uata, no horoway-la O fare thee well, love, where'er thee be
They call thee fickle, they call thee false one And seek to change me but all in vain

For Thou art my dream yet through the dark night And every morning I watch the main
Chorus: Fear-a-uata, no horoway-la Fear-a-uata, no horoway-la

Fear-a-uata, no horoway-la O fare thee well, love, where'er thee be.